MIAMI MANIA, EPISODE TWO...Where In The County Of Dade Are Brandon And Moolie
The City And Sleek High-Rises
Woof, Kids!
As you know, today is "routine maintenance" day 'round the dog-den, so we'll see where that goes and get back to you!! No doubt, it will be juicy. Oh, brother.
Personally, I think they just want in to have a little look/see at my decorating, or lack of, skills.
It so cool how they won't give you an appointed time, not even a window, not even an approximate time. Heck, even the cable company does better than that. Well, it's okay as I plan to show up at their door, at some random time, unannounced and just step on it and hang out. Check things out at their digs. Wonder how they would like that? No biggie, my day progresses and if I happen to be here great, if not...they will have to bring their screens and batteries on another day.
Ah, now let us continue our Miami Mania. Much more fun.
Narrated By: The Diva-Dog
Starring: Brandon 1L and Moolie
Starring: Brandon 1L and Moolie
Opening Scene...Brandon and Moolie disembarked (I love ANY word that includes, bark) the Metro at the Brickell Station in the downtown area of Miami.
Did I mention that downtown high-rises were the target digs for B's first-year-as-law student? No? Well, now I have mentioned it, so urban dwellings were on the real estate radar.
Remember, Talking-Tessie, from New York? How could you forget? Well, she issued some fairly dire warnings about riding the rail in Miami. Urged them not to even go near the Metro. Something about drug deals, dog deals (kidding on that one)...blah, blah, blah. Now, don't get us wrong, for sure there was a certain amount of truth in that partik warning, but same could be said of any mass-trans in any mass-city, don't ya think? Caution is always prudent, and not just about the rail.
However, arrival time in Miami was 10:00 a.m. and B didn't even give it a second thought. Moolie felt confident as she had her spray hand-sanitizer stashed in her make-up bag. Mace, spray hand-sanitizer...could they really be THAT different? Of course, you do have to consider the time it takes to spritz the bad asses. Let me think. Yank the Kenneth Cole (what, you think The Mool rides the rails with some crappy totebag?) handbag from the shoulder, flip it open, grab the cosmetic bag, zip it open...quick-a-de-quick, pop the cap off the spray sanitizer...BAM...bad guys get it...right between the eyes, um, in the eyes!!! Yeah, that oughta work.
You may also recall I mentioned the use of certain iphones back at the Tri-Rail Station in West Palm. Well, upon setting foot in Dade County, B snapped into action and demonstrated his superior mapping skills on the little instrument. No problem. It was a straight shot from the Metro to the first condo building and Realtor, Joe. A mere...several blocks away. Who was counting? How far could it be? Looked pretty close on the iphone screen.
I feel I should insert here, without any intention of disloyalty to The Mool, that she can be pretty lax when it comes to certain situations. Not when she is alone. Oh, no. When left to her own devices, she hops to it and does what is necessary. Nah, it's just that she tends to let the old guard down when she feels she is with someone competent to handle little items, like directions and detailed instructions.
Every journey is just one foot in front of the other and this was how it began in the Brickell area of Miami, for The Mool and B. One foot in front of the other...again, and again, and again, and...again.
BTW, Brickell is this really cool area with restaurants and shops and gorgeous people all 'round. Moolie, immediately, feared she would be ejected, but kept her game face on. The B? Perfect fit for all things Brickell area. Well, Miami, period.
They still craved some morning java, and figured there was bound to be a Starby's (our little word for Starbucks) nearby. They are everywhere. So, Moolie approached the first person she saw on the sidewalk and inquired about location of coffee. Moolie is NOT shy. Person gave blank stare and said there were no SB's in Brickell. Huh? Is this what has happened in "this economy"? Later in the day they discovered that this person, although quite attractive, was quite mistaken. There was, indeed, a Starby's in the area. Natch.
The morning that dawned sunny and bright in WPB began to ratchet on up, ever so gently in Miami. Warm had turned to warmer, with no breeze.
Moolie, looked ever-so stylish in her solid black ensemble, but could feel the heat being drawn to her like a magnet. Yes, a red-hot poker type magnet. She needed water, but had left hers back on the Tri-Rail. Again, details.
The clock was ticking and The Mool and The B needed to pick up the pace to reach their destination and appointment with RJ (Realtor Joe).
As Brandon navigated the streets, the two, clipped along...passing high-rises and construction and construction workers and...oops...dead-end.
B checked the address, checked the iphone map and this WAS, most-def, their street. Well, the one the condo should have been sitting on and it came to a complete dead-end...right into a park. The park? Not on the map.
At this point, Brandon and Moolie had come to the realization that there is absolutely no one, not one single soul, who knows anything about the city of Miami. Do not even bother to ask...construction workers, utility workers, rail workers, la-de-da-entitled-people lounging on sleek outdoor patios...they know NOTHING, people.
You could, possibly, be wondering why they didn't simply look up into the sky and try to find the appropriate building. They did. It wasn't there.
Clock was ticking, they were going to be late. B placed a call to Joe, thinking he would come to their rescue. I'm dropping the Realtor term from here on. Joe gave B the big brush and said he was with a client, would be late and would have to call them back. Excuse us, HE was running late and he didn't even bother to call them. HE had a car and knew directions. Some realtor (please note small r to signify his insignificance from this point forward).
Folks, it was simple. Brandon and Moolie were utterly lost. They had zipped up, zipped down and over and around and crissed and crossed street after street after street. The entire time, B kept referring to the iphone map and it appeared they were going the correct way. Each time, dead-end, smack into that park. It was like some horrible maze, with two sweaty, bedraggled and frazzled out-of-towners going quietly mad. Not far from the truth, frankly.
Things just weren't panning out and the black outfit on Moolie was a huge nightmare and the long-sleeved shirt, jeans and athletic shoes on B were not much better. Everywhere they looked were cool, calm and collected beautiful people just floating around them in light-colored cottons with short sleeves and cute sandals.
Brandon was, as always, calm and rational...Moolie, as always, was ready to just go on ahead and zap all those nit-wits with the old hand-sanitizer spray. Could crooks on the rail make her feel any worse? Listen, rational thinking eludes one when they have been deprived of coffee, water, cool clothes and have hiked in circles for blocks upon city blocks while wearing strappy sandals. Spritzing random dumb people was NOT out of the question here.
Thankfully, Brandon spotted a Publix, they rushed inside where it wasn't even cool and grabbed water. B placed an emergency call to, who do you imagine? Of course. Gaz, back in his office in WPB. Between the two of 'em they decided B and his iphone map were correct and he and The Mool must keep pressing forward as they had been going in the absolute correct direction. Period.
Not that she didn't completely trust the two of them, but, Moolie, desperate by this time, spied a cab in the Publix parking lot. She motioned to B to follow her as he was prepared to offer the driver $100.00 to take them to the designated high-rise. Too bad she didn't really have $100.00 on her.
They approached the cab. Driver smiled. Moolie asked if he was available. No, he was not. This was probably a blessing, as things could have turned really nasty over that $100.00 offer business.
He was nice, but he was busy eating his salad, in the shade with his music drifting lazily all around. He was cool. They were hot. Hotter than hot.
He was nice, but he was busy eating his salad, in the shade with his music drifting lazily all around. He was cool. They were hot. Hotter than hot.
Have you ever noticed that just as you are on the verge of a flood of tears (and Moolie isn't a crier), you will get a break and you get to save the tears for another day? Well, that is what happened in that very parking lot at Publix, in DT Miami. Moolie and Brand, got a break.
Cabbie, who hesitated when first asked WHERE the street was located, did assure them that if they just kept walking, in the direction they had tried umpteen (and you know that's a lot) times already, they would, for sure, reach their destination. They learned they had to skirt completely around the park and they would discover that their street would continue. He promised and they trusted him. What else could they do? They started walking, again, and Moolie made a silent vow (she did share this with the Diva, so I could share with you) to be more of a Girl Scout in the future and be better prepared when taking the train. Well, either that or hire a driver or bring along lots more cold cash for bribing information out of strangers.
Brandon and Moolie continued to walk and sweat and suddenly they brightened, as when they got past that dumb park they saw...their street and their building, just over the trees...the very building they had been looking for all morning. It did exist and they found it. B and his nav system had been correct, all along. Nav system should add the park though.
Moolie, didn't care that she was a total mess and wreck of a person in her black attire, she was so relieved. However, like the person she is, she took the opportunity to remind, a smiling and tolerant, yet soaking-wet, B, that whatever parental skills were lacking through the years...she was making up for them now...and with that they reached the door to the condo building. At last.
Entering the sleek doors to the newly constructed tower, Moolie wondered if they would be allowed inside the lobby. Have you ever seen the face, hair and attitude of a woman in black, in Miami in June? Would you let her into your chic condo building?
Entering the sleek doors to the newly constructed tower, Moolie wondered if they would be allowed inside the lobby. Have you ever seen the face, hair and attitude of a woman in black, in Miami in June? Would you let her into your chic condo building?
Stay tuned.
Bark at me, if you have the energy after this novel!
Hey Diva. I'm tired before I get started. This saga just keeps getting better. Moolie is such the girl (Mommy calls her, girl). And natch B is such the guy. There is nothing they (with the help of Gaz) can't handle.
As for black in Miami in June, not so good, huh Moolie>
The mexies who cut limbs came at 11 p.m. last night. The power co. come at 8 a.m. this morning. My buds, Call and Gus, now have a/c again. Power line in backyard, not good.
We were lucky. Just a blown down tree in my backyard and a jillion tree limbs all ovah the place. Lots of work for Mommy. She's the only one here who isn't sick right now. But she is a lot like Moolie, nothing she can't handle (even with very bad knees). Just sayin'.
Anxiously awaiting episode three with excited paws a jumpin'.
High paws and very excited nubbin' wags to you. Bitsy
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Afternoon, Bitsy...
Whew, crazy Saturday 'round here.
Yeah, Moolie calls me her "girl" and "baby girl" ...stuff like that. I love it.
B really is such the guy and the Diva-Dog loves to hang out with him.
No, black in most definitely good for summer in Florida...or Texas, for that matter, huh? Still, Moolie still cant' seem to break that wearing black habit from the corporate her in Dallas. Habits are HARD to break.
Happy to things are under control 'round your dog digs, Bitsy.
Stay with us on our Miami Mania Saga...more to come!!!
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First of all, even your version of looking a mess, I have no doubt you and B looked fab in Miami!
I totally know how the dependence on the iPhone is! I mean with the greatness of Google Maps, how in the world would one ever expect something like a park to be missing?!? I can only imagine how perplexed you guys were while running into the park, rather than the condo building!
I can't wait to hear about meeting rJ, who didn't give the courtesy "I'm so sorry, I'm running late" call! We know that The Barkers are the epitomy of manners...hopefully rJ can learn a thing or two from you and B will he helps find some sweet new digs for B!
I'm loving these adventure stories...and I'm thing maybe you guys need your own reality show...I'd definitely watch it! I'm seeing a cross between Super Nanny (teaching manners), The Real World, T&D, and maybe even DWTS and Food Network shows on the weekends??? Oh, and on your travels would encompass all things Travel Channel...HGTV for your great decorating...Survivor for those trips on (gasp) public transportation.
Oh yeah, I'm totally lovin' it...and OBVIOUSLY, THE Diva Dog would be the star...which might lead to a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame??? Go ahead and get those paws ready for the cement impressions!
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Sabrina...OMG, you are the sweetest...I mean THE sweetest...not to mention loyal (and you know how I love that trait) person in the universe.
I promise you, we were a disgrace to cast eyes upon. Heavens-to-Betsy (ever wonder where that expression came from?).
Yeah, we love our iphones and are totally spoiled to all the cool things they do. Google Maps can be dicey, even when not using on an iphone and we knew that in advance, but that's another blog, ha.
Okay, I think since some of the readers of this crazy blog are reality television watchers...we should have our own show, together...about the bog and watching reality tv from different states...makes as much sense as some, right? Could it be worse than say...Kendra? I think not.
Stay tuned and give "the kids" a fluff for me.
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