HARROWING MARROW
Woof, Kids!
Listen, this swine flu thing has the Diva-Dog thinking. What? Surprised that I think about something other than treats and getting pampered by my peeps? Think again, you hounds.
I know it is all serious as can be and I plan to stay abreast of all developments. Thing is that all this chatter about swine-this and swine-that makes me think of food. Sorry. Gaz and Moolie may never eat bacon or pork loin again, but, me? I AM a dog, you know.
Stay with me here, okay?
This weekend, Gaz and Moolie yanked some lame coupon from the paper for one dollar off MarroBone treats for mutts. I say lame ONLY because they have this annoying habit of stashing coupons and never redeeming them. This behavior concerns the Diva-Dog because we can all agree that a dollar saved means more treats for me...in the long-run. Right?
This weekend, Gaz and Moolie yanked some lame coupon from the paper for one dollar off MarroBone treats for mutts. I say lame ONLY because they have this annoying habit of stashing coupons and never redeeming them. This behavior concerns the Diva-Dog because we can all agree that a dollar saved means more treats for me...in the long-run. Right?
MarroBone treats? Hm. Mongrels, this saucy-sounding new treat (well, new to me) brought me back to a time in Tampa when the peeps hauled their sassy-selves on OVAH to break-bread (dinner, okay?) with some of the biggest snobs in town. I can say that because as this pup didn't get to go, they had to be snobs, right? Well, they were...fact. Big, really big, snobby-snobs.
The way my fluffy ears hear it, this lofty and la-de-da couple and their la-de-da fakey-fake friends and my two nit-wits were all served up...beef bone marrow for din-din. Oh, over pasta with lemon zest.
Now, don't get the Diva wrong. A lovely dinner invitation is always appreciated and my two enjoy cooking and entertaining...believe you me. So, don't get the idea that they are whiners...but, they had good reason on this one.
Yep, it seems the dinner-givers thought it was a super cool dish and even had special little individual "bone marrow spoons" to make it easier to enjoy.
HOLD ON HERE. I have to stop a minute because this is making me queasy all over again.
Elapsed time...a few dog minutes (which translates to more than human minutes, I'm sure you realize).
Now, Tampa Dinner Hosts Supreme were, clearly, under the impression that because my peeps have strong Texas-ties, they would gobble this up and be grateful. WRONG and a-half. Ugh and yuk.
For mutts and pups...bone marrow is totally awesome and delish. For my two peeps...it was disaster, but manners and all their childhood parental teaching prevailed and they managed to make it through. Barely.
Oh, the hosts served up Opus One (if you have to ask...well) wine with dinner and let everyone know it WAS, indeed, OO. Maybe. Hard to tell in a decanter. Could have been from a box. Nah, it was the real deal, but who cared with marrow-filled bones staring up at you from a plate. Heavens-to-Betsy!!!
End of this tale? Gaz and Moolie nibbled on pasta, moved bones around and around on their plates...sipped the Opus...finished neither...made a hasty retreat home (stayed long enough to be appropriately gracious guests). Um, they could have stashed those amazing bonezzz in a doggie-bag for me before making their mad dash. Just sayin'.
It ended up being a major sort of fun and funny for them, but they never got invited back for dinner. Hm. Curious. Don't you just adore it when people stereo-type you as bone marrow lovers just because you love all things Big D?
Now, if you love that type fare, I say, yum to you. Yuk, but yum. It is just that my peeps didn't even meat, at all, for a very long time...until Ruth's Chris called to them and they HAD to have meat again. MEAT, not marrow.
Okay, I can't really talk about this anymore...got to go and find that coupon for Moolie...the Diva Dog wants some MarroBone treats and I wouldn't mind some of that Opus One on the side. What? You think dogs can't drink fine wine? Well, we COULD. Wine, is like water, right?
Bark at me!!
Hey Diva Reggie.
About those MarroBone treats??? They are the bestest. But not for peeps, yours or mine.
You know, just because you are from Texas, doesn't mean you eat raw meat, bones and all. Now, we do like our meat but leave the bones for the wild mutts.
Us domesticated mutts shouldn't eat real bones anyway. As a matter for fact, it is on my medical records "NO BONES" what-so-ever. See, I got sick once when my nana cooked a ham that was bad and she gave me that little round bone from the center. I have to stay in the doggie hospital with needles in my front leg for 2 days. Believe you me, that was not fun.
So, now I get hound bone treats. My Mommy sees to that. Food poisoning is not fun for pups and peeps.
If Moolie and Gaz don't ever get another dinner invitation from the fake friends, they are probably very lucky. Next time they could have to eat the bone as well.
Keep a look out for your peeps. Someone has to protect them from weird snooties.
High paws and nubbin' wags to you.
Your bud...Bitsy
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